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11:51 p.m. - 2002-01-17
Ok, I promise from now on, if you come here at least every other day, there WILL be a new entry, not because I've had death threats, but because I seriously have to start writing again, I've lost my mojo or something, and this is the only way to get it back..

So I got Andrew's (The creator of Diaryland ) Happy bunny in the city song stuck in my head. I thought that it would be fun to memorize, and then sing in random places. Which is totally out of character of my normal day to day schedule, so it would throw people off, and that's fun to do. Not to mention every time I want to slit my wrists to paint my poetry on the wall, I can sing it, and the fact I'm singing it makes me laugh so hard I can't help but keep on living, just so I can do it again...

AOL Keyword: Melodramatic

Yes, please. Check please, Table 5, thanks.

Anyway, I have been sincerely depressed lately. Moreso then normal, yeah...because moreso is a fucking MORESO...get over it..ok, so more-so..ok you fucking happy now..then usual..quite happy, thanks..then usual for some reason, I think it's the ever impending knowledge that it will take at least a year to end this hellhole I'm calling a life environment and go on my next adventure to wherever the hell I feel like going, preferably Vegas so I can see the people I really care about and all that nostalgic nonsense, since the only people in NY are my friends and family, who I could give a shit about because they're just symbolic nonsense proving at one time before I lost my mind I had somewhat of a life.

Wow, that was an avalanche of words..I think it actually had a point somewhere...

Oh yeah ! I'm depressed. As fuckin hoo for me..

The point is that unless I sincerely start busting my ass and work two jobs, 60 hours a week, or sell coke, which I can't do because of certain promises I've made to people, I'm not going to get out of here in 6 months like I'd hoped. So it looks like the 60 hours a week thing...

Now, I wouldn't call myself lazy persay...but a lot of other people would. I would prefer the term Fucking lazy. I just don't like to work, I mean who does, and in the past I've always found a way to use my grand intelligence, or whatever it is, to get out of it and still manage to walk away with a bundle of money...this time it's different, I've run out of options, and burnt too many bridges/churches/and rest homes down to get out of it.

I simply have to accept the fact I have to work and use the end goal as motivation...ah so easy Mr. Wizard..yeah but it's not easy.

So whatever..the banks of the crymeafucking river are overflowing with self indulgent drama floods killing off villages of hope...

So ah well...

On a lighter side, I'm buying a 1969 Mustang convertible, my fav. color, blue, unless I get fucked over again...

Ok, so from now on, keep coming back, i'll be writing more, and something more intersting then this drivel seen above...

Oops, did I just slit my wrists ?

Wait, no silly me, just wishful thinking..

Night kids.<3




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