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12:27 a.m. - 2002-01-07
Trembling heartsrings.

Anticipation of the Unknown.

I don't know where I am anymore.

I don't know what to do.

People need something from me.

I don't know if I can give it.

Theres something I need to do if I want to be out of this hellhole in 6 months, I don't know if I can do it.

Love...I lost it, I think.

Do you remember me still ?

If I was there, would you still feel it ?



This isn't me ?

I don't wonder..

I know.


I know.

I just took this online screening test for Depression., 10 questions, they told me at the end I should call 911 immediatly.

I thought that was pretty funny.

Then I realized they were serious..

Oh well, fuck it.

I was never good at tests.

I was never good at anything that was important.

I am master of the trivial.

Please, help me ?

There were things I was supposed to do this week. I didn't do them, i've been in a trance, the trance of the repetitiveness of someone who can't live without excitement living in the world of the bland.

You seen Shrek ? You that castle, the town where everything is supposed to be perfect and everything stays the same...and the rules...and regulations...well that's where I live, except nothings perfect, and all the rules are against me.

1) Don't live

2) Don't enjoy

3) Don't understand.

I'm living in a world that wants me to die. They have no use for me.

I don't understand anything anymore. I had it all figured out..then it melted a cup of ice ?


Or maybe I never knew at all..

Maybe i'm dillusional...

Maybe I should call 911..

Nah fuck it, nobody would even know.

Nobody would miss me.

It's all a big joke.


Fuck it.

I fight this battle for you..

It's the only reason i'm here..

Is that sad ?



Night Kids




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