8:01 p.m. - 2001-06-23
YOUR a bastard
This is the feel sorry for myself entry:
Your mother walks into your room, your sitting there with a random friend/gf/bf it doesn't paticularly matter, and she says something to embaress you, that sinking feeling you get as your mind races about popularity...
You come in late and your brother/sister tells your dad, he gets really pissed off and yells at you for hours, then he grounds you and you can't go o that concert you wanted to next week and you go to your room and slam the door and call your best friend and talk about how much assholes your family is and how you hate them..
I don't have a family. And I mean that, it's not that I don't just not get along with them, or don't see them all the time. It's none of them will talk to me, not even distant cousins. I never see them, ever.
I live in Las Vegas, I lived in almost every state. I've backpacked cross country alone, sometimes picking up random strangers and travelling with them. I've driven it 3 times. Now I'm alone minus a very minute group of friends in the desert.
My future at the moment looks quite dismal. I was attempting to open up a coffee shop. That being about 15,000 more dollars off, I don't see it happening any time soon seeing as I'm currently unemployed.
My ideas and beliefs are so different from the norm I can't even begin to explain them correctly to people.
Sometimes I don't see the point.
I don't know, these last couple weeks I have been depressed as I always am, but i've also been feeling sorry for myself, which I never do, I have been bitching to people, which I always do, but up until now, it was never about me, it was about society, life, religion, government, anarchy, sterotypes etc etc, now all I talk about are whores, IHOP, and America Online.
I don't know. I don't feel like being idealistic and philosophical at the moment so I think i'll gather some "friends" and get my IHOP fix.
I'll add more later, something more substantial...
Oh, I'm single again...my most recent relationship lasted a week. That was the trust crap I was talking about a couple entries back, maybe if your lucky ill throw that story in tonights entry...
Using your instead of you're makes me smile...
<3 Dan
