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9:56 p.m. - 2004-05-03
Well, things have been really strange lately. I'm really trying to focus in on my life, it's all become such a blur lately, I have no control over the things that I do. I've just been watching myself go through the motions of normal life, but my mind isn't in it. I'm always drifting off on random tangents of thought.

I ripped a deer tick out of my leg last night, that was a new experience.

I'm desperately trying to save up money so I can get the hell out of this room I'm renting. I'm feeling claustrophobic.

So I'm about forty-thousand dollars in debt, and I own absolutely nothing.

Even as I type that it feels so incredibly unreal I can't believe it's me. I can't believe I've let myself come to this point. I can't believe I let people, myself included, drag me down to this level.

I have nothing to show for my life except a broken heart and credit card bills overflowing in my mailbox.

I guess that's a bit cliche.

I'm going to have to change my layout, I haven't felt zentastic in a while.

Sometimes I wish I could turn my mind off.



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