1:08 a.m. - 2002-04-19
It has been often said, or at least I've always heard, that a woman can tell with in five minutes of meeting a man whether or not she'll sleep with him. The only problem is deciding whether or not that person is suitable, personality and dependency-wise.
You know, all that 'getting-to-know-a-person-before-you-fuck-'em' shit.
Men, on the other hand, use sex as an excuse to get to know the female. Men rarely take the time to get to know the person their lusting after because once they finally seal the deal, the girl that they found sweet, funny, charming...a whole list of complimentary adjectives.....can almost immediately turn into a suspicious/jealous/insecure/uncontrollable/demanding she-bitch.
Men try to get in and out of there as soon as possible (literally and metaphorically), before the lady suffers and change in ego and undergoes a possession. Most men do not have an old priest and a young priest at their disposal to help remedy the situation.
This is not exactly my personal opinion, but rather something I've compiled after discussing women with a few of my friends. Relationships are bound to be present in your mind and float into conversation when your girlfriend cans your ass less than a week earlier. Yes, ladies, it's mysoginistic and disturbing as fuck, but it's what I retained from the conversations.
You cannot be the man of her dreams before you learn what her dreams are. It's an ugly side characteristic of love that can turn us into diluted or altered versions of ourselves.
Sometimes we fall in love because we long to escape from ourselves with someone as beautiful/intelligent/strong/sane as we are ugly/stupid/weak/insane.
I was in an honors economics class some time ago. One day the homecoming queen, literally, wanted to know how astronauts were able to leave the earth. When the class began to explain to her the concept of escape velocity, she stopped them and said, “but how do we get out of the Earth.” It took the class a moment to realize what she meant, for thinking resembles the awkwardness of talking when attempted backwards. The girl was convinced we, in a global sense, were inside of the earth.
This notion is more primitive than the flat-earth concept of not too long ago, which should have been squashed by a mere glance at a globe, or any sci-fi movie. But no. This is the homecoming queen. So they explain. The earth is a big rock candy shell around a hot gooey interior, like a spicy m&m. This was inconceivable to her. The class dropped it, though, for whatever reason.
This was a high school senior, enrolled in an honors class, who was sure humanity existed inside of the planet. I was amazed by this incident. How could somebody go through 18 years of school and raising and not be taught this most elementary fact? If she would have died the day prior, she would never have known.
In a related story, I bought cupcakes yesterday. Now, before you discredit me for trying to include humour through obscure reference, let me elaborate. I went to open the box of cupcakes, and found the source of the upbringing of ignorance in this country’s children. A connect the dots game, the end result, a cupcake.
So while parents insist that schools tell them that their darlings are gifted and bright, they force feed them the mindless goo and lack of mental challenges that make the brain refrain from synapse creation, in a Pavlovian nature.
So please, give your kid a book from time to time. This does not include a magazine, for being told by Seventeen that they’re ugly and should try these 7 new tricks in bed is another matter, though not all too different. Encourage them to read, and perhaps they won’t live a life trapped inside the Earth. Well, that's it then. <3 night kids <3