2:56 a.m. - 2001-09-06
But continue to scream and pound on the door
Shout to be unleashed out upon the world
Unleashing the rage, emotions unfurled
Maddening thoughts I no longer control
Penetrating confusion right down to the soul
Who can live with these thoughts on their mind
No way out, Iím lost, no solution to find.
To live here in solitude, pessimistic attitude
Living the life of the poor minded and crude
Alone in the dark I slit my mental wrists
The blood spilling out just makes me more pissed
I cant live the life I was living anymore
Now while they hound me and cry at the door
To be let out, released, unleashed
Iíll have no peace till the screaming has ceased
Running rampant thoughts around my head
Straining to hear what the whispers have said
Lock me up, imprison me, bring me my bread
My water, my mental freedom, bring me the dead
Shutting myself out from reality
If I believed in God, Iíd bow down and pray
But why return to the one that first betrayed
My love and my trust and my emotional waste
The blood on my tongue leaves a bitter taste
Iím confused, Iím lost, I really have no idea what the future is going to hold for me. Everything is so fucked up right now and Iím grasping at straws because everything is so congested I can barely breathe. I feel like Iím drowning, Iíve been ignoring the things I should be paying attention to and focusing on things that I shouldnít be, the deaths that have happened, I canít seem to get over this hump, this mourning, usually I donít get like this. I donít know.
HmmÖ.Thoughts as bloody as the aftermath it creates.
ďI am a calm human beingĒ he chuckled softly to himselfÖthe knife dropped down with a soft clang on the soft carpet. ďThat was my moment of ZenĒ, how ironic he mused as the lifeblood flowed from his wrists. He sat down in his favorite recliner and turned on the television, the last sound he heard was the laugh track from old Brady Bunch reruns. TV land does have itís uses after all.
I donít know, I guess Iíll figure it all out. Iím just dealing with some heavy shit. All you people are just going to have to bear with me.
This would be so much easier ifÖwell forget it.
<3 Night Kids