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3:09 a.m. - 2001-08-31
Fucking Christ i'm sore.
Iíve been in a dreamlike state ever since I woke up this morning. Colors, voices, sounds, traffic, vision, imagery, people, all blending together into a filter dripping mockery flavored coffee. Half awake, half lost in thought my comprehension of the world outside my troubles has become just another detail. I spent most of the day running errands in a machine like way, checking off the tasks in the back of my mind but hardly paying attention to what I was doing. Iím not even sure if I accomplished half of what I set out to do.

I spent the later part of the night with her, utter perfection as always, I would have enjoyed it much more if I had been fully aware of what was going on. I think I might have upset her, Iím not really sure, I certainly hope not, perhaps she was just really tired. Anyway, enough paranoia for the moment.

Amidst my thoughts and ramblings of the day I only thought of my current love once, fortunately for me that one single thought lasted the entire day. Iím not going to let this one slip away. She could work out so perfectly I am not going to screw this up, well I hope not.

Iím hoping that tomorrow sheíll sneak out to come hang out with me, go to the park and be happy or something. I need a night out, of simplicity, just being happy being with her. I donít know, it relaxes me, letís me forget about things, I lose myself in her.

Melodramatic imagery keeps me fueled for the future.

I canít do anything more here tonight, my depression is to busy to sort out and write.





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