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12:04 a.m. - 2001-07-03
Damnit, Vegas, viva, bullshit
I have a lot of thinking to do. In order to do the New Castle Mission, (Read 5 most recent entries) I need about 15-20,000 dollars more than I have. I don't know if I can 1)Make that much money here in Vegas, 2)Want to make that money while living here in Vegas.

I was offered two oppurtunities. One is in Vienna, VA, which is about 10 minutes outside of Washington D.C., I could more than likely make the money there by February, which is a month later then my self enstated deadline of January first. Plus it's work I would rather not do, don't ask. It's not sexual, but don't ask. heh.

Anyway, the other option is to move back to New York until January, where I could probably more than likely make enough money by mid-january, plus I could do work I enjoy a tad more.

I just don't know anymore. I mean, don't get me wrong. I love Vegas, a lot of people say its sin city, a lot of people say its a horrible place to live, but personally, take away the glitter, the lights and the tourists, (basically stay off the strip) and its just like every other place. Except you can get breakfast at 2 in the morning for 77 cents. I guess I just don't know where I want to go or what I want to do.

I do know I want to end up in New Castle, it's my new mission in life. I can do that for a while, then make up a new mission, when i'm 25 I should be able to write a book..

Vegas however does not seem right for me thought, theres nothing wrong with the city itself persay, I just feel out of place.

I've given up the idea of finding love, or even a girlfriend for that matter. They eitheir are to stupid, to much of a whore, or they don't like me. I guess I shouldn't base anything on my love life, but fuck it, it's important to me. I say that as if I have one.

Oh well, I'm just really confused, I was gonna do telephone psychic work but it turned out to be a scam, and I tried applying for medical transcription, also a scam.

So I guess at the moment I would probably be leaning towards New York. I just don't think my life would be any better there than it is here. I have more friends there. I guess, but my friends here are fucking cool as hell, all three of em. heh

My problem is I don't like my life anywhere, as I mentioned before, every place is basically the same, all the people are the same, the problems are the same. My thrill in life, is the chase, the moving to somewhere new, after i've been there a couple months, I get bored, restless. I need a nomadic lifestyle. I think the coffee shop in New Castle would keep me grounded. I think a love life would keep me grounded. Maybe one of the girls I corrupt will date me, but I doubt it.

I'm just fucked up tonight, like every night. I have a lot of thinking to do I suppose. If anyone has any ideas how I can come up with 20,000 dollars in 6 months, let me know. God, I was just reading this over, my spelling sucks today. Oh well. I don't feel like fixing it.





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