1:40 a.m. - 2001-11-27
I fell in love all over again tonight.
Not that it would help me.
My life has become bland, a thick nothingness that leaves me choking for breath.
It's repetitiveness and lack of quality, I just wonder, about things, regrets have been resurfacing recently, old memories, everything.
I don't know what to do.
Where do you got from here, if here is nowhere, and theres nowhere to go ?
If there isn't anybody left to love, nobody left to turn to, and nothing else to do, then why bother ?
I don't get it, I never have, I probably never will.
So I spend my what seems like endless number of days until I gracefully die a horrible cancer ridden death trying to figure out what the hell I can do to entertain myself, and at least have some kind of quality in my life.
Something to prove to myself that it's worth it..
Just once, I want to wake up and see the love of my life laying there next to me, in my arms, and just once, I want that to not be taken away.
I want to feel the feeling i've been dreaming about since the day I was born.
The truth is, it's the reason I was born. I was born to love, and without loving, i'm wasted. I serve no purpose.
Basically, i'm a uvula, that little thing that hangs in the back of your throat.
Yeah, that's me. Nobody knows what it's purpose is, well I do, but nobody else does. Sometimes they play with it, but for the most part, everyone ignores it and goes on with their day, and so it just hangs there.
Just hanging out.