Get your own
 diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries

2:56 a.m. - 2001-09-06
He sighed knowingly
The voices in my head refuse to speak anymore

But continue to scream and pound on the door

Shout to be unleashed out upon the world

Unleashing the rage, emotions unfurled

Maddening thoughts I no longer control

Penetrating confusion right down to the soul

Who can live with these thoughts on their mind

No way out, Iím lost, no solution to find.

To live here in solitude, pessimistic attitude

Living the life of the poor minded and crude

Alone in the dark I slit my mental wrists

The blood spilling out just makes me more pissed

I cant live the life I was living anymore

Now while they hound me and cry at the door

To be let out, released, unleashed

Iíll have no peace till the screaming has ceased

Running rampant thoughts around my head

Straining to hear what the whispers have said

Lock me up, imprison me, bring me my bread

My water, my mental freedom, bring me the dead

Shutting myself out from reality

If I believed in God, Iíd bow down and pray

But why return to the one that first betrayed

My love and my trust and my emotional waste

The blood on my tongue leaves a bitter taste

Iím confused, Iím lost, I really have no idea what the future is going to hold for me. Everything is so fucked up right now and Iím grasping at straws because everything is so congested I can barely breathe. I feel like Iím drowning, Iíve been ignoring the things I should be paying attention to and focusing on things that I shouldnít be, the deaths that have happened, I canít seem to get over this hump, this mourning, usually I donít get like this. I donít know.

HmmÖ.Thoughts as bloody as the aftermath it creates.

ďI am a calm human beingĒ he chuckled softly to himselfÖthe knife dropped down with a soft clang on the soft carpet. ďThat was my moment of ZenĒ, how ironic he mused as the lifeblood flowed from his wrists. He sat down in his favorite recliner and turned on the television, the last sound he heard was the laugh track from old Brady Bunch reruns. TV land does have itís uses after all.

I donít know, I guess Iíll figure it all out. Iím just dealing with some heavy shit. All you people are just going to have to bear with me.

This would be so much easier ifÖwell forget it.

<3 Night Kids

Dan

 

 

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!