3:09 a.m. - 2001-08-31
Fucking Christ i'm sore.
I�ve been in a dreamlike state ever since I woke up this morning. Colors, voices, sounds, traffic, vision, imagery, people, all blending together into a filter dripping mockery flavored coffee. Half awake, half lost in thought my comprehension of the world outside my troubles has become just another detail. I spent most of the day running errands in a machine like way, checking off the tasks in the back of my mind but hardly paying attention to what I was doing. I�m not even sure if I accomplished half of what I set out to do.
I spent the later part of the night with her, utter perfection as always, I would have enjoyed it much more if I had been fully aware of what was going on. I think I might have upset her, I�m not really sure, I certainly hope not, perhaps she was just really tired. Anyway, enough paranoia for the moment.
Amidst my thoughts and ramblings of the day I only thought of my current love once, fortunately for me that one single thought lasted the entire day. I�m not going to let this one slip away. She could work out so perfectly I am not going to screw this up, well I hope not.
I�m hoping that tomorrow she�ll sneak out to come hang out with me, go to the park and be happy or something. I need a night out, of simplicity, just being happy being with her. I don�t know, it relaxes me, let�s me forget about things, I lose myself in her.
Melodramatic imagery keeps me fueled for the future.
I can�t do anything more here tonight, my depression is to busy to sort out and write.
<3
Dan
